Discipline vs. Legalism

Discipline puts you in position to focus, legalism puts the focus on the position...

“I apologize,” the hardest and most powerful phrase in the leadership lexicon…

“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.”

Lynn Johnston

"I apologize”…it seems like such a simple phrase and it might be the most powerful phrase in the leadership lexicon but I know from personal experience that it is probably the hardest things for anyone to say…as a matter of fact I usually try to rationalize my way out of it if at all possible.

At the same time, I think it is so hard to say because anything in life that is truly worth doing is extremely hard. Whether it is getting good grades, cultivating a real relationship with Your family and friends, or getting into good shape, what in life that worth doing isn’t exceptionally hard?

As leaders in this world, you are called to set the example, and probably the best example you can set for those in your life is admitting that you are wrong and then actually doing something about it.

You see…everyone can accept the “thank you” statements and everyone can function when things are going well. Only the leader can step up and apologize because that is what being a leaders is all about…doing the things that other people won’t do…

Question for this week: Part I: Why don't people apologize more often? How good are you at apologizing when you are wrong? Part II: When is the last time you saw a real apology and what was the situation? Part III: When is the last time that you apologized to someone or a group of people for being wrong? How did it turn out? Part IV: What is something that you have done recently or in the past that you haven’t apologized for yet but that you know that you need to take care of in order to be the leader you signed up to be? What day are you going to do it? Who are you going to tell to hold you accountable besides me?

Decisions…everyone is confronted with them; leaders are given the big ones...

“Be willing to make decisions.  That’s the most important quality of a good leader.”

General George S. Patton

Decisions, decisions, decisions…each and every day we are confronted with different decisions to make…sometimes they are small ones like, what am I going to wear today?  Sometimes they are larger ones like what school am I going to go to or who am I going to marry, but regardless of sizes or significance we all have to make them on a very consistent basis…

When you accept the position of leader, regardless of where that position is, whether it is on the football field or in the boardroom, you have to accept at least three conditions when it comes to decision making: 

1.    You will have to make more decisions than everyone else.

2.    Your decisions now affect more than just you; they affect everyone you are leading. 

3.    If you want to make good decisions, you are going to have to put your pride aside and ask for advice, because remember, it’s not about you when you sign up to be a leader. 

These three points make the life of a leader a tough one because you will always find yourself “walking the line” between what would be best for you, and what would be best for those you lead. 

Question for this week:  Part I:  What is the biggest decision you have ever had to make in your life up to this point?  Part II: How did the decision you make affect you?  Part III:  What is the biggest decision you are confronted with right now?  Part IV:  What information do you have to have in place before you can make your decision?  Part V:  Who are you going to ask for counsel and perspective before you make your final decision on the situation that has been placed in front of you?

Passion without purpose is just loud noise…

"A great leader's courage to fulfill a vision comes from passion, not position."

John Maxwell

Right now my wife and I are watching Bravehart for probably the 1,000 time at least .  It is probably my favorite movie of all time because it outlines the life of William Wallace, a man who was so passionate about his fight for freedom that it became the purpose for everything he did the rest of his life.  

There are all kinds of passionate people out there, people who want to give their opinions on everything from weight loss to politics, from Science Fair projects to sports .  Most people stop at debate, they want to talk all day long about a topic but when it comes time to do something about it that passion fades like a candle in the wind.  Leaders take that passion a step further…they don’t stop at debate, they use that passion as fuel to make their purpose in life a reality that makes a difference.  

Question for this week:  Part I:  What are you passionate about?  Part II: Why are you so passionate about it?  Part III:  How does your life reflect that passion on a regular basis? Part IV:  What is one specific thing you are going to do this week because of that passion?  What day are you going to do it?

You have to be distinct in order to make a difference...

 "An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great leaders and little ones"

Thomas Fuller

Ever since having the day off for Martin Luther King Jr. holiday I have been thinking about what made him so different from all the other leaders that came before him and all the leaders that have come after him...what was it that made him so distinct from everyone else that put him position to make such a big difference?

In trying to find the answer to that question for the last two weeks I have been reading through different web pages and articles that outline his life and thoughts.  In doing so I was amazed by all the different things he had to deal with in order to be the leader he signed up to be.   He was jailed numerous times, he was threatened on a daily basis, he was stabbed, stoned, his house was firebombed, he had crosses burned in his front yard and ultimately he was shot for doing what he believed was right. 

In doing my research I also came across one definition of the word distinct that really shed light on why he made such a big difference:  separated by a visible sign.   

Question for this week:  Part I:  Why do you think most people just follow the crowd instead of living lives that are distinct?  Part II: Name at least three qualities that make a leader distinct?  Part III:  Which one of those three qualities do you think is a part of your own character?  Give an example of that character trait reflected in the way you live your life consistently. Part IV:  What is one specific thing you are going to do this week to be distinct?  What day are you going to do it?

Every day is an opportunity to make a difference...

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work”

Thomas Edison

When I look back at my life I can remember all sorts of opportunities that I have taken advantage of, and others that I let slip right through my fingers.  

I think about all the time I spent in college just wasting my life, not going to class and not doing my work when I did actually make it there.  That missed opportunity cost me thousands of dollars, and is a constant thorn in my side, keeping me humble at all times.  I can also remember the day that I first meet my beautiful wife and finally made the decision to pursue her in a way that would make her feel like the amazing woman she is and just how great my life has been ever since.  

Well, we all have opportunities like that before us today...what does your life reflect that believe about opportunities??

Everyone has opportunities in front of them to make a difference in the world today, what we do with them makes us who we are...

Question for this week:  Part I:  Why is it so hard for people to take advantage of the opportunities they have been given?  Part II: Outline a time in your life where you didn’t take advantage of an opportunity that you were given; what were the circumstances; what happened?  Part III:  Outline a time in your life that you did take advantage of an opportunity that you were given; what were the circumstances; what happened?  Part IV:  What did you learn from both those events in your life that will help you take advantage of the countless opportunities you have before you today to make a difference in the world you have the opportunity to live in??

You have to give in order to get...

“No fine work can be done without concentration and self-sacrifice and toil and doubt”
Sir Max Beerbohm

While I was thinking about last week’s question, another important part of the leadership formula came up:  you are going to have to give something in order to get something.  If you want to lose weight in the new year you are going to have to give up some fattening food and some time in front of the TV and replace it with some healthy choices and activities.  If you want to get better grades you are going to have to give up some time online and replace it with some serious book time.  If you want to make a positive difference in this world through whatever vehicle you have chosen, whether it be politics, your high school, or on a mission trip you are going to have to give up something in order to be who you say you want to be.  

Question for this week:  Part I:  Why don’t people want to give up something in order to get what they say they want?  Part II:  What is something that you have had to give up in the past in order to get something in your life?  Part III:  What is something you are going to have to give up right now in order to be the person you say you want to be right now??  Part IV:  What is the first thing you will have to do to put the “giving up in order to get” process into action?